Posted by Dinah on November 28, 2004, at 9:54:00
In reply to Re: My T drove by MY apartment.... » LG04, posted by shrinking violet on November 27, 2004, at 22:31:53
I think here we have the tension between what we want and what's good for us.
I think every single one of us wants to be special to our therapist. To have our therapist think of us in a different way from their other clients. To be the one they want to be friends or lovers with.
I think it's DISASTROUS for a therapist to admit to any of that. Of everything you've told us about your therapist, I think that's what bothers me most. It sets up expectations that a therapist just can't deliver on. Which is a sure recipe for pain. It changes the therapeutic frame so that it's too much a two way friendship as opposed to being about you. Maybe I'm worrying too much about it. As long as you aren't putting too many expectations into what she said, maybe it's harmless or perhaps even helpful in your specific case. I just think it's generally a bad idea.
My therapist has said on occasion that I'm special because I'm his longest term client. But that's a very impersonal reason to be special, and I don't think it affects the relationship any. And it's balanced by the myriad ways I know I annoy him to death.
Her personal flaws - well, they all have them. It'd be best for her and her clients if someone did point out how they interfere in therapy. I'm not at all shy about pointing those things out to my therapist.
poster:Dinah
thread:420634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/421242.html