Posted by Shortelise on November 21, 2004, at 20:01:03
In reply to What's real vs. what's transference?, posted by rockymtnhi on November 20, 2004, at 19:48:57
With my T and other important people in my life, I have to ask them if I read them correctly, that it is essential to me that I know if I was projecting or if what I perceived was what they were feeling.
When I ask my T this, he will sometimes stop and think to check in with what he is feeling. At times he'll tell me that no, he wasn't feeling what I perceieved; other times he'll tell me that I what I perceived what close to what he felt.
It's ok for them to get irritated sometimes. And maybe he was irritated because he remembered it was his mother's birthday and he forgot to call her, or he had a toothache or he is a little fed up that his patients always get bent out of shape about the telephone thing - think of *your* job and that one thing that just drives you nuts.
Here's my take on it: to figure out if it's real or transference, you've got to talk to your shrink about it, and you need a shrink who isn't too defensive. They aren't *supposed* to let their feelings interfere, but sometimes they do, of COURSE they do. They are human, the poor things.
That's my idea on the subject. My T is great about this, and can be really honest.
It's part of his/her job to talk about this and be honest.
Hope this helps.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:418419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/418756.html