Posted by Aphrodite on November 21, 2004, at 9:15:38
In reply to What's real vs. what's transference?, posted by rockymtnhi on November 20, 2004, at 19:48:57
First of all, your therapist is SUPPOSED to understand what you're going through! That's his job. Keep at it until he "gets it" the way you need him to.
Secondly, I'm not a big fan of all this transference talk. Everything is transference, in therapy and in real life. Everyday I like people because they remind me of a friend I had in high school, or I don't like someone because they remind me of a mean big sister. My biggest problem with it is that it seems that some therapists use it as a reason not to take responsibility for their own behavior. My T has never used the word "transference," but a couple of times when he has done something I didn't like, he implied that it was because of some resolved issue within me. Sometimes it's not because of my parents, it's because he did something dumb! I guess I'm just saying don't let him get away with it being your issue and not his. At least tell him he needs to take 50% of the responsibility for his words and reactions.
And yes, what you are discussing is so very hard that your sensitivities are going to be heightened. Ask him to clarify. You have every right and it's very normal to feel the way you do. Calling once a week seems to me to be a very reasonable request.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:418419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/418575.html