Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2004, at 23:48:21
In reply to Re: I'm a horrible mother to my body *trigger* » alexandra_k, posted by underthewave on November 16, 2004, at 9:50:09
Yup. When I went to DBT group a couple of years ago I was suprised at how many of us there were! I thought I was unique in that respect. I too give my nails and skin around them a pretty hard time and have done ever since I can remember. My mother has this habit too, of tearing the skin off the tops of her fingers.
I find it interesting to hear peoples reasons for SI. Things have progressed a long way from the 'cry for help' 'attention seeking' assumption, thank god. I am ashamed of it but I think that it was just an attempt to externalise / express my pain; and in a funny way the endorphins (?) help one feel better too.
I haven't SI'd since a major attempt a couple of years ago. It is kind of cliched how people talk about the nearness of death bringing one closer to life but in my case it was true. I haven't even had urges since then. If I think of doing it in any detail I just feel sick. I feel so very lucky about that because I remember how hard it was to fight urges. But now I think I get more feelings of hopelessness because SI was something that helped. I don't know what I have replaced it with. It is funny how we can learn more 'socially acceptable' ways of SI. Makes me wonder just how much I have changed / progressed after all.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:414634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/417257.html