Posted by underthewave on November 16, 2004, at 9:50:09
In reply to Re: I'm a horrible mother to my body *trigger* » littleone, posted by alexandra_k on November 12, 2004, at 16:40:21
> I give my body a pretty hard time too. Cigarettes, bout 30 a day; live on coffee and V and coke and junk food; I am allergic to exercise; I am a heavy drug user; I used cut and burn and so on and so forth... With the SI I figured it was about externalising the terrible pain that I felt inside. I well and truely hated myself and I hurt my body as an expression of that.
WOW! This is me. I am so abusive to my body. Nailbiting to the extreme - picking, chewing, biting until they bleed. I also have an ED which usually goes hand in hand with SI (which I gave up thank God). I also dabble in drug use and smoke too many cigs. I guess it's a way of punishing myself for how horrible I think I am. Sometimes it's the only way to not feel numb all of the time. As for the drug use, for me it represents the only way to escape the "uncomfortableness of me"
poster:underthewave
thread:414634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/416641.html