Posted by 64bowtie on November 13, 2004, at 13:19:48
In reply to forgot to add, posted by underthecs on November 12, 2004, at 19:47:01
> the only thing that does are the benzos, which i abuse horribly at times to help me sleep. i have been on so many different kinds of meds but can't seem to stick with it.
><<< Please accept my sadness for your pain and heartache. No one could put up with all this any better than you have....
A thing or two I've learned counseling folks over the years is no remedy works without fault when you go at it at 100 miles an hour! We are all tired of being tired of being tired. I know that's me 15 years ago for sure. One reason or another I never got on that "train" I see others scrambling to get onto. I guess I was lucky I missed it.
Your MD or Pdoc has "lost an opportunity to help you" if the only relief made available to you is more, and more, and more meds. A little changes via meds coupled with group or individual therapy is a much more peaceful and studied approach. Peace is afterall a highest goal as I hear what you write.
By abdicating all remedy to "meds", your MD or Pdoc has not taken care to not mess-up your body chemistry. Toooo much of a good chemical always has bad body chemistry results. If you live near a medical college hospital (Stanford University would be nice), volunteer yourself for a body chemistry work-up and see if the list of meds you took when and for how long, is still causing chemical imbalances.
I side with the Neuro-science folks that assume we are all mostly OK at birth, but bad diets and our own bad attitudes cause great chemical stresses that show-up as catastrophes, sometimes.
Please enlist your spouse as an ally. Remember what it is about him you liked, and run with that.I have a probing question: Do you ever remember witnessing a loving relationship that lasted, such that you saw more than one face to it, but it endured no matter what? If you strip your feelings of love away from your relationship and you find nothing is left, I submit your feelings aren't love but another emotion, approval. Approval is conditional. Love is durable and unconditional by its nature.
As kids, this is all our little minds can muster, approval. We are genetically retooled around puberty to be so much more than we were as kids. Sometimes we need help understanding the changes.
This is "rubber-meets-the-road" feelings stuff, not a psychological precept found in the "DSM-IV" or textbooks. Your Mom could ask you the same question. I don't need your answer, you do.
Get your chemistry on track first. Alcoholics I have counselled took years to dry out, but eventually they did. They may have drank for 20, 30, or 40 years. They bounce back in three to five years, or perhaps their health "gets 'em" as they are trying to dry out.
I've witnessed 100's of successes. You could be next!
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:415216
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/415458.html