Posted by Rigby on October 24, 2004, at 19:46:21
In reply to my stuff » Rigby, posted by crushedout on October 23, 2004, at 0:17:56
Yeah, it makes total sense. And that's really normal and natural. Not that that makes it any easier but it's not weird or neurotic or *any*thing like that.
> oh, no, i really want them. but somehow it's easier when you're younger to be patient, and tell yourself, "don't worry -- that stuff comes later." now i know i'm supposed to be having them now and i start to panic that i will never have them. does that make sense?This is a toughie. The messed up part is if the therapist is good she should be getting you through this. But if she's not she's kinda generated herself this forever client--not intentionally but it's an effed circle here. She might have been "good" enough to get you into this place, this feeling place where it might have been healthy to transfer feelings onto her, etc. and work through them, but is she "good" enough to get you out? I guess when you feel you can't take it anymore, if it doesn't change, you'll do something about it. Maybe the discomfort allows you to fill voids that would otherwise be exposed.
> hmm, the addiction part doesn't really ring true to me anymore. it feels like being in love. and there's dependency there, yes, but it doesn't really feel addictive in the sense that i think you're thinking of. although it makes sense that you would think that. and the remedy you suggest would still possibly help, but no, i don't feel like i can do it. fallsfall always trying to get me to stop saying i can't, because of course i CAN -- i just don't want to. i just can't see myself really doing that. i wish i could. i'm not sure why it feels so much like it's not an option.DEFinitely talk to her about it. This is YOUR therapy--YOU want to stop hurting already. The issue of needing her, being in love with her, *and* not trusting her sounds deep--like it's some intense issues with your mom or something. But your therapist should be pushing to work through them unless you're day-to-daying her--like not going deep with her then she won't know that your feelings for her are still really painful.
> maybe i should try talking about it with her, but i'm scared to. i think, like you, i'm lacking some really basic and necessary trust with her. and that's obviously not good.
poster:Rigby
thread:405935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/406762.html