Posted by vwoolf on October 20, 2004, at 11:00:19
In reply to how does your T handle silences?, posted by shrinking violet on October 19, 2004, at 19:44:54
I often can't stand the tension of silence, and my mind wanders into really arbitrary places. Sometimes when I fall silent, I will gaze up at the cobwebs in the corner of the room, and my T will also stay silent. Sometimes however she will try to keep eye contact with me - you know those endless stares. I immediately start thinking that she thinks she is looking deep into my soul, but actually she is just looking into the mud of my eyeballs. Usually at these moments she has no idea what is going on inside me - in fact I am usually thinking about my library books, or the dog's meal, while she thinks I'm going really deep. A few years ago I used to advise a psychologist about her business habits. She obviously hated coming to see me, because she had no idea about budgets etc, and she used to try the long stare technique with me. It used to drive me mad, because it was completely inappropriate in that context. Every time my T does it to me now, I think back to those awful meetings. I have told her about it, and she says that obviously I am hating that moment and feeling uncomfortable. Gee, you could have fooled me!
poster:vwoolf
thread:404908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/405106.html