Posted by daisym on October 20, 2004, at 0:10:13
In reply to how does your T handle silences?, posted by shrinking violet on October 19, 2004, at 19:44:54
I use to really, really hate silence, it was so threatening. I needed to find something to say, anything that would block out the thoughts that were usually crowding in. I'm sure this was left over from the "what do you have to say for yourself?!" demands from childhood.
I realized today that I can tolerate sitting for a few minutes in silence. I watched the rain against the windows, watched the leaves blowing, noticed the warmth of his office, and felt SAFE.
He gives me lots of room to feel things, but he will also ask gentle questions if I seem to be struggling to get something out. He is only really vigilent about silence if I don't seem to be there are more. He usually asks, "are you going away?" or more directly, "where did you go?" Today he asked me to breathe myself back down into my body because it was so obvious that I wasn't there anymore.
So I guess silence is like so many other things in therapy. The response it gets depends on the reason it exists.
poster:daisym
thread:404908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/404978.html