Posted by Pfinstegg on September 19, 2004, at 15:46:43
In reply to dissociation/memories/dreams*posstrigger*, posted by crazymaisie on September 19, 2004, at 14:20:32
Hi Maisie - glad you posted. You're not alone in trying to cope with csa, and loss of possible memories of it. I'm one of the other people dealing with the same thing. I'm assuming that you have a therapist, and that you're working on the basics of trust and a secure attachment with him/her. I think getting a secure attachment needs to come before you try to delve into unconscious trauma memories, if there are any, because that bond will allow you to process whatever comes up in a way that is healing. Otherwise, it can be almost retraumatising.
The fact that you are having dreams of csa may mean that you are making real progress in unconsciously processing traumas which either may have happened, or which you, when you were a child, were terrified might happen. I'd suggest- don't feel you have to push yourself to retrieve any further memories. You have a lot to deal with as it is; as you deepen your sense of attachment and safety to your therapist, whatever needs to come out will do so in a setting of much greater security than you had before. Just try to trust yourself that you will do what's needed when you are ready, and don't forget to give yourself lots of credit for what you have done already!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:392652
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/392680.html