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Re: one more question

Posted by alexandra_k on September 10, 2004, at 18:56:39

In reply to Re: one more question, posted by Dinah on September 10, 2004, at 12:12:59

I miss time when I switch. It is like I curl up inside myself but I am removed, like I am kind of behind my body. I lose the information coming in through my senses so that I can't hear and I can't see and I can't feel anything. Sometimes I can retreat volountarily, sometimes it happens involuntarily. It is terrifying when I get 'stuck' and I can't come back, but I can't go away for a while either.

I miss time when I switch and I don't know what the body is up to. I would not wish that on anyone. I later find evidence that I have done things that I would never do and that I do not approve of. Such as drug abuse, sexual activity, self harm, reckless driving etc. Sometimes I have glimpses of co-consciousness, but my experience is that we segment off what we cannot face and that takes on a life of its own. Quite often it is like living in a nightmare that you cannot wake up from properly. I repeat, I would not wish this on anyone.

 

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