Posted by Larry Hoover on September 3, 2004, at 15:58:41
In reply to Unconditional Self Acceptance, posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 3, 2004, at 14:25:29
> My T says this is a gift you give yourself. This has been the hardest concept for me to grasp since I have been in therapy a little over a year now. I still cannot fully grasp this concept. I seem to still prefer to mercilessly berate myself rather than show myself some compassion, compassion I show to others but apparently don't think I deserve.
>
> Can Unconditional Self Acceptance even be attained? If you have it, how on earth did you get it?Well, not perfectly unconditional, but....
I think it can come from asking yourself the right questions, instead of the wrong ones. For example, "Did I do my best?" is quite a different question than is, "Did I do that perfectly?" Another one might be, "Did I apologize for hurting her feelings?" rather than, "Didn't I make a total fool of myself?" Underlying the questions themselves are assumptions. Those assumptions are what permit you to beat yourself unmercifully, or to congratulate yourself for a fine effort.
I'm really fried from the sun, so I need to go lie down.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:386072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/386105.html