Posted by Dinah on September 3, 2004, at 11:44:05
In reply to Re: Well, I think I'm going to do it, posted by tryingtobewise on September 2, 2004, at 16:13:11
By the time I got to therapy today, my anger and resentment had skyrocketed to the point that I was as sullen and truculent as a teenager.
I suppose faced with that, it was reasonable for my therapist to want to discuss my decision.
He actually surprised me. I had expected him to say that it was, of course, my decision. Not with his arms folded. When he says that with his arms folded, it means he disagrees but that he d*mn well isn't going to invest himself personally in a *client's* decisions. But smiling. When he says that smiling, it means that he approves but isn't stupid enough to say so.
But he didn't tell me that at all. It turned into a discussion of the nature of therapy, and what therapy meant to me, and how twice a week therapy was different than once a week therapy, and the nature of the therapeutic relationship, and whether you had to aim for quitting therapy.
It was really very interesting, and in at least one case, eye opening. It seems that he *does* have a treatment plan for me. His conception of my case is that I do best with the intense support of twice a week therapy. And he thinks my thinking I should reduce to once a week is the thinking of someone adequately medicated who feels fine that they can reduce or eliminate their meds. He's not saying I shouldn't try it, or that it won't succeed. He's just saying that he noticed a big difference when we went from once to twice a week therapy.
He also understood and agreed that twice a week therapy is really a different experience than once a week therapy. More continuity, more intensity. A totally different feel to it. Not just once a week therapy two times. He wonders if we could taper to three times in two weeks rather than once a week, to see if we could keep the best qualities of more frequent therapy while trying out less contact.
We found that we were in agreement on the nature of the therapeutic relationship. That it's different, but no less real and no less valuable than other sorts. That all relationships have rules and boundaries. But the rules and boundaries of therapy are just different. And he understands that given my childhood history of being the ersatz family counselor, I have a special respect for the role and the relationship as a valuable entity that one doesn't need to try to outgrow.
And it turned out to be an oddly enjoyable session, too. Despite all the anger and emotions. He spent a fair portion of the session laughing at certain aspects of the World According to Dinah, and I always like to be laughed at in a fond sort of way. It reminds me of my father in his better moods.
poster:Dinah
thread:385223
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/385995.html