Posted by daisym on August 30, 2004, at 14:37:42
In reply to Re: First Session Back, posted by Dinah on August 29, 2004, at 8:23:55
Dinah,
I have a far out thought. I think you might missed a really big thing:
>>>It's more the needing him less that brings on the terror. And I just don't understand that at all. If I need him less and don't need to see him as often, it should follow that the idea of needing him less shouldn't bother me
Haven't you been told that you are incapable of forming attachments? I seem to remember the psychiatrist from he** telling you this...And didn't you say that your own therapist thought you wouldn't be able to bond with anyone with him? So perhaps a part of you is worried that your lessening need for him means these things might be true. It has come up enough in your postings that I think it still bothers some part of you.
There is nothing wrong with needing someone who helps you feel secure and taken care of. I think we all need someone like that. I understand when we look at it from our adult perspectives that we want to be self-sufficient. But even if you were "grown up" all the way...you would still have a human need to be heard and understood...all parts of you...and this is what your therapist provides for you.
I fight with myself constantly about this fear of needing my therapist...and not needing him. To give up what I just found seems a cruel thing to ask. But to not be working towards giving it up seems self-indulgent and immature. *sigh*
Just my jumbled thoughts today.
poster:daisym
thread:382174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/384200.html