Posted by vwoolf on July 27, 2004, at 13:52:52
In reply to Re: Confused, posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 9:49:18
Thank you so much for your kind, thoughtful answer. I know I need to let go and trust my therapist, and I think I really want to, but it is such a leap of faith! It doesn’t seem to be something I can simply decide to do - I’m going to have to feel trust first, and there seems to be something in me that is just not ready. I wonder if I will ever get there. Perhaps the hurt and mistrust are just too great.
It’s funny, I was talking to a friend of mine over lunch today about our teenage children and how difficult they can be, and how difficult we were at their age. I thought back to the way I used to behave towards my mother, and it suddenly struck me that this is exactly what I do with my therapist. The poor woman really will throw me out if I go on like this much longer.
I feel very torn by wanting her and needing to push her away. It is comforting to know that you have also experienced clients with this sort of ambivalence, and that they found some sort of solution to it. Did you feel enormous hostility towards them? I’m sure I would. While I sort of envy your choice of profession, and admire you for it, I think actually I would make a very bad therapist, since I seem to project so much onto my therapist and Pdoc. It must take extraordinary control to work in this field.
Bestest
VWoolf
poster:vwoolf
thread:371035
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040723/msgs/371240.html