Posted by tabitha on June 25, 2004, at 1:12:25
In reply to Re: Prodigal therapy client returns » tabitha, posted by Dinah on June 24, 2004, at 8:33:04
> I'm starting to wonder if mine is just getting sick of seeing me after so long. I also wonder if maybe the problem is that he's no longer on his best therapeutic behavior with me, since he feels safe with me. I can't imagine he'd have many clients if he acted with them like he acts with me. :(
Better ask him about this stuff. I got the same impression when my T started doing the EFT stuff on me-- I thought she was just tired of hearing me talk and didn't know what else to do with me. Heck, I couldn't blame her, *I* get tired of hearing me talk. But naturally she said that's not true.
Well I went for my individual today, last session before her vacation. It wasn't as bad as I expected. I didn't spend quite so much time butting heads over interpreting the group session. We had an interesting disagreement over the definition of 'mean'. She wouldn't see my enemy as mean, so I asked her, would she acknowledge meanness if it happened? And what would it look like? Then she said the other woman in the group has been mean. I asked for specifics, and she said she didn't want to go into it, so then we talked about some more made-up examples, and I realized we just have a different definition of 'mean'. I don't see that other woman as mean.
At least she seemed to understand what I went through last week, and why I reacted so strongly. As expected, she wouldn't exactly admit any wrongdoing on her part, but she did say she was sorry for not finding the right words to comfort me earlier. Today she had a comforting take on it.
We did come up with one goal for me that I can get behind-- I need to have better boundaries, so when stuff like this happens, I don't take it to heart, and run with the perceived criticism, and fall apart and spend a week barely functioning. So having this goal makes me feel like there's a future for our relationship.
Right now I'm just not getting the concept of boundaries. All I know how to do is either open the door or close it. I don't get how I can be open to connecting, and feeling bonded, yet not let in the projections and disapproval and so forth.
poster:tabitha
thread:359289
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/360075.html