Posted by daisym on June 23, 2004, at 19:17:23
In reply to Re: I'm not Terrics, but... » daisym, posted by B2chica on June 23, 2004, at 17:02:15
I want you to believe with your whole heart that you did not say too much, I'm not going to blame you nor am I going to dismiss your pain as "self-inflicted" making you somehow deserving of it. I'm touched that you said as much as you did. It must have been very hard to push send. But you did it. I'm honored.
Whatever happened to you, it is hurting you. However it happened, whatever the ages, doesn't matter. It is hurting you now. Everyone's experiences are different and who you are and how you respond is what counts, and there is no predicting emotional scars. Some people can tolerate getting yelled at, others fold into tears and others yell back. So you can't impose a "should" on any of this, especially how you feel.
Your therapist will want to help you sort through this hurt. To look at what part of the hurt is self-blame and shame, what part is outward anger and what part is betrayal and devastation. I'm sorry it makes you sick to your stomach, I certainly understand those feelings.
I wish I knew what to say to really help you with the fear of telling. It is a huge, ugly monster with a grip of iron. but you are really doing great by trying to get it out. Keep trying.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:359373
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/359563.html