Posted by daisym on June 23, 2004, at 13:32:16
In reply to terrics please...., posted by B2chica on June 23, 2004, at 9:48:44
Your post touched me. I can tell how conflicted you are with FINALLY letting it out and yet remaining in the safe place of hiding it all. Whatever the secret is, know that your Therapist won't judge you. (neither will we btw). We've all had terrible things happen to us and we've all, at one time or another, done things we are ashamed of.
My experience was after 41 years of NEVER discussing my childhood trauma, (I told one person, 1x, one sentence, no discussion) I tortured myself for a month about wanting to tell my Therapist. I had to ask myself why I suddenly needed to tell, how would he react and how could I get the words out? It was so loaded with fear that I had to try for 2 whole sessions before I finally blurted it out. Then I went home and threw up.
You are not alone in your fear. But your Therapist isn't a mind reader. So whatever it is, if you need help around it, try to let it out in one way or another. Especially if it is about cutting. This is so much more common than you think.
Take care of yourself. I can "hear" how freaked out you are. Can you close your eyes, just for a minute, and imagine yourself in a safe place? Think of a peaceful sound or song, and add that in. Take a couple of deep breaths, and relax a tiny bit on each exhale. Breath away the tension. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Hang on.
And, call your Therapist if you need to. Even leaving a message about what was "wrong" in the session might be away to open the door.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:359373
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/359465.html