Posted by pegasus on May 31, 2004, at 23:43:20
In reply to Re: Comments on Appearance in Therapy, posted by DaisyM on May 31, 2004, at 23:19:02
My old T complimented me every now and then. Once he told me that a shirt I was wearing looked good on me. Once he said I had a beautiful smile (when he was pointing out that I was smiling while saying something really sad). Once he said I had beautiful hands, when he was asking about a new ring I was wearing. But that's about it, stretched over two years. I liked these appearance compliments, but didn't really need or desire them.
I never commented on his appearance either, come to think of it. I thought once about telling him which of his shirts was my favorite. He had this one that looked especially good on him. And I loved certain things about his appearance: his lips, his eyes. I never had much of a romantic/sexual thing for him, but it still seemed inappropriate to comment.
He complimented me on non-appearance things more regularly. He would say I was kind and intelligent and "wonderful" whatever that means. I lived for *those* compliments, but could never completely remember what he'd said afterwards.
Interesting question. I'm curious too about what others' experiences are, and whether they like compliments.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:352524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/352577.html