Posted by bell_75 on May 25, 2004, at 6:17:54
In reply to What's really depressing is..., posted by 64bowtie on May 24, 2004, at 13:46:52
Just before I came online and read this post I was sitting on my bed reading a book (in fact the book on 'overcoming social anxiety' that my therapist gave me to read) and i heard on the headlines of tonight's a current affairs show a story is coming up called "the cure for depression".
When i heard the words simply put as "the cure for depression" my skepticism and empirical knowledge instantly kicked in as i thought "there will never be a cure for depression". I know this pessimistic viewpoint could be seen as harmful to the psycho-babble community but I don't post this thought here in an attempt to dishearten depression sufferers moreso hope for some empathy from others who have known the overwhelming 'shackled' feelings of there being no 'end' in sight just eternity.
I've suffered from depression for quite some years now and have posed similar questions to yours, myself.
Your mention of internal conflict and its relation to depression brought home to me the fact that I have a continuance of internal conflict within me that I believe is hindering my recovery of depression. I wont turn this into a therapy session about moi :P I've had plenty of those in the other psycho-babble world (within my therapist's office).
From my experience, depression gives me the continual feeling of being trapped. Although I have not experienced it myself, I can relate this 'trapped'state to the mind of a person with Autism.
My therapist once explained the impact of negative thoughts about oneself to the life of a depressed person and a 'non-depressed' person.
In both depressed people and non-depressed people, 33% of all thoughts are negative thoughts about yourself. The only difference between the depressed and non-depressed is that depressed people believe and "buy" what they are saying to themselves whereas a person without depression somewhat takes it with a grain of salt and does not dwell on these thoughts or believe them to be 100% true. (this was in my CBT work in therapy). I found the distinction between depressed and 'non-depressed' people to be of more interest to me that the percentage and the whys. This is because I thought "how do you come to know/diagnose someone as being non-depressed?"
Sure there's a DSM-orientated criteria for depression that sorts the depressed people from everyone else, but what about the world outside the therapist's office and the people that have never been to therapy. How do they know?
I guess what I'm trying to say is, what is it like being a non-depressed person? do these people know how their lives are different to people who have depression?
I understand that my memory has conveniently erased (or blurred) any happy memories I have of my past and any recollection of pre-depression days to further support my own validation of my depression so I'm not completely naive that I can say I've been depressed from the day I was born.
I havent yet I can't remember even if I try to recall what it felt like and when it was that i was not depressed.
However, when I put my diagnosis aside I feel I still don't know who I am today and exactly what depression looks like. I admit at times I subject myself to the stigma I so often rebel against when I wish, as others have, that there could be an x-ray of the mind and you can point to an exact spot on it and say "see that there...thats depression". I'd feel relief in being able to see a "picture" of depression and have one less questions to ask. We could all swap x-rays and maybe babble could have a whole board dedicated to mental ilness 'x-rays'.
Alas I, like everyone else, stumble across questions in my life that dont have exact answers written in black and white for me just to ease my mind.
I hope my 2 cents (and then some) didn't stray too far from my original intent to share with you my opinion on what depression is and where it could (not a definite *does*) come from.To give a suggestion to your question 'Which are the best tools for the job?', from reading your thought-provoking post and writing this somewhat lengthy but relevant reply I believe this is one excellent tool that luckily is at our avail.
Psycho-babble is full of people that know all the lows and can share all the highs as well. People with beautiful souls, compassion and the willingness to read and share alike.When you come across more tools to assist you in this quest, can the entire psycho-babble community share them with you? :)
Its true, there's always strength in numbers.
~Michelle
poster:bell_75
thread:350170
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/350351.html