Posted by starlight on May 14, 2004, at 13:16:50
In reply to Re: Your son... ? Angel Girl, posted by B2chica on May 13, 2004, at 10:29:26
>When I tell my net friends, they flee as fast as they can. I don't have any friends here, just the ones on the net and now I think they have all abandoned me too. I always do something to screw up relationships. I can't see to manage them. It's never their fault, always mine but I keep doing the same stupid things that turn them off.>
It's extremely important that you choose carefully who you share your problems with, especially when it comes to mental illness. Most people don't know how to respond and feel very uncomfortable when you share this type of information. There are two types of friendships. There are frienships that exist on a more superficial level and friends with whom you have a "contract" with and can share your problems and vice versa. It's important to respect those people with whom the relationships are more superfical and understand the discomfort that they feel when you share this type of information that they're not ready to hear.The key here is SELF PRESERVATION. Understand that the reason you feel even more depressed is that you expected more out of them than they were able to give, thereby creating your own disappointment when they failed you.
I have a friend who really struggles with bipolar disorder. She felt that it was her job to help people understand her illness and as a result told her co-workers (all are yoga instructors, so she thought they would be very understanding) but these things scare people and as a result every time she did something they didn't like they discredited her - her illness made her behave that way. It only added to her suffering.
You should have one or two friends (or even JUST the people on this list until you find that one friend) with whom you have a 'contract' with. You can share your issues and they can share theirs knowing that it's okay to confide in them, they won't judge, but just offer support and encouragement. See the rest of your friends for what they are (more superficial) and respect that - it's okay! When you realize and accept that, you'll stop being disappointed by their behavior.
Good luck
Starlight
poster:starlight
thread:344489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/346826.html