Posted by tinydancer on April 25, 2004, at 8:42:44
In reply to Re: Would it be ok for my T to hold me? » tinydancer, posted by crushedout on April 25, 2004, at 8:07:59
Crushedout said:
> Yeah, that stuff about overweight people put me off, too, although I sort of respect him for being honest about it. Also, his heterosexist boarding school cr*p. But I agree it doesn't invalidate everything he says.What I probably respect most is that he is breaking new ground and is very bold in his beliefs. All the great icons of our modern society were people who, at the time, were mocked or ostracized for their "shocking" perspectives and treatment ideas.
But I liked what he said about the constrictions of modern therapy, and he seems extremely cautious to me. But the therapy he describes sounds mind boggling and I know for a fact would induce permanent psychosis in me. I feel like I've learned a great deal from picking bits and pieces out from the whole picture of what he says. And did you see his picture? He looks like this cozy old grandfather fellow-I KNEW somehow he would!> That makes sense to analyze it thoroughly first. Do you mean to say that you and your T are talking about it, and that he may actually hold you at some point? That's what it sounds like you're saying.
Yes, that's what I'm saying. My T said "If I really thought it would help you to sit in my lap I would." But its certainly nothing I'm anticipating happening anytime soon. Neither him nor I are in any rush and he understands the depth of responsibility he has to me as my therapist and is very cautious about degrading the trusting relationship we have. We've talked about it and I've talked about why I feel its something I would want. I'm also interested in what would happen-I feel like it could possibly break down something in me that is so hardened-that I could develop a new level of trust in our relationship after that wall is demolished and its exciting to me to wonder about how that could affect my recovery.
> I'm afraid to answer you, and I would be afraid to answer my T honestly, about what I would want to have happen after, because if I tell the truth, then I probably shouldn't get held, and that doesn't seem fair.Why shouldn't you get held? Do you not feel safe enough to tell me what you are afraid of happening? Do you feel that your T is not in control of the situation?
The bottom line is that it is-like everything in therapy-a very individual case. One day I asked me T if we could go on a walk, and he got to telling me about a schizophrenic patient he had who he often went on walks with instead of sitting in an office talking. This was valuable for both of them because the patient felt less threatened and there was no ulterior isses that could threaten the balance and equality in their therapeutic relationship. So he wanted me to know that while he wasn't RULING out a walk someday, that it would have to be for a reason (a fairly good one) and not just for the sake of it, because of my feelings for him and the destructive possibilities of miscontruing actions and feelings.
I'm blabbing now but I hope you'll keep investigating this issue-as I like to say, when the going gets tough is when the work is really getting done and you're onto something. Don't give up!
poster:tinydancer
thread:339576
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339806.html