Posted by karen_kay on April 21, 2004, at 14:09:16
In reply to Karen, I need an update!, posted by DaisyM on April 20, 2004, at 19:01:31
i called to cancel my group session on tuesday morning. i called because i remembered that he really dislikes it when clients don't call to cancel and just neglect to show up. i couldn't make group as i had a project to work on with members from a class. i know, i scheduled it that way on purpoes. dont' say it out loud, ok? so , left a message saying, 'bubba, i won't be in group today. thank you.' he called back within two minutes. i didn't want to deal with the mess, so i ignored the call. i later checked the message and he said, 'i need a reason as to why you won't be in attendence today. also, i received your message last week, but i've been swamped with paperwork and forgot to return your call. i want to make sure you are ok.'
i later returned his call saying, 'i've been very busy with work for school. i had to do a project and that's why i wasn't able to attend the group meeting today. i'll been home all day working on a paper, if you need ot get in touch with me. i'm sorry i missed group. i hope you accomplished much there. blah blah blah. i hope you had a pleasant easter holiday.'
then, i started thinking, 'karen, grow a spine. with the help of a friend, i called him back and said, 'i know you are busy, but i don't think i made it clear in my last phone call that i need you to call me back. haope you have a great day bubba. thanks.'
he called me back. he said 'i knew you wanted me to call you back, but i was going to wait, as you were working on your paper. i know you are stressed right now with finals.' i told him, 'i havent' even begun to think of finals yet.' he said, 'so, what's on your mind?' i said, 'well, i can;'t talk about it right now.' he said, 'oh, is your old man home?' i said, 'no, it's just too long to get into on the phone.' (and why does everyone assume i'm having problems with my old man????) he said, 'can you give me a hint?'
wait, let's change the format a bit, ok..
me: it has to do with what you said after the last sesssionwell, i thought you were doing better, you were smiling
i was falling apart bubba.
i'm sorry i didn't recognize that
ok. and about group. i'm only there because i know you want me to be there. and i have a real problem with doing things to please others, as we have discussed. i know you need this group to succeed, and i know you need me there to challenge the other members. but,i'm only there becaues i feel like you need me there.
shhhh. (laughs) let's not talk about that. see you tuseday then? this is the only way to keep you as a client. and if i refer you to someone else in this office, you won't have as much fun as you do with me.
*so, i think i realize now, i'm basically doing volunteer work at this point. to help bubba's group succeed. but, i think that i will also pick up some good things from the group. i do have a problem with overanalyzing things at this point, and i fear the group will only contribute to this problem, as well analyze interactions and behaviors. but, i also think that the group will be benificial to me in noticing my own interactions and behaviors as well. this group will help me to change my own interactions that are causing me harm. so, i guess i'll have to see how it goes? i'm not thrilled about this mess, don't get me wrong. i'm just trying to see the good. and i do only have a year. i made my bed, i guess i have to lie in it. and besides, what's the harm in helping bubba and the other members of the group? i can put my own issues that i probably wouldn't deal with n individual sessions iwth a different therapist on hold for another year anyway, while i work on my interactions with people in a group setting. i'll give it a try.
thank you daisy for being concerned darling. i'm very sorry that you are going through what you are. and i'm very sorry that i've been self-involved right now and haven't been able to support you like i should. but, i have been thinking aobut you dear, even if i haven't been able to post. i'll be better about posting to you. take care of yourself daisy. i've missed you. i'll be better dear. promise.
poster:karen_kay
thread:338201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338417.html