Posted by MrSandman on April 19, 2004, at 13:58:43
In reply to Social isolation: Depression or Anxiety?, posted by MrSandman on April 16, 2004, at 4:03:43
Most boys have annoyingly bad social skills. Most boys are inclined to abstraction and have difficulty expressing themselves. Most boys would rather deal with mechanical things- vaccuum cleaners at age 4, cars at 14- than emotions. Legions of males never grow out of these traits, ever.
For some reason, you want to be a balanced, civilized human being (you must have grown up in a house full of women!) Kidding aside, your insight, your manners, your willingness to
take constructive criticism, and your
ability to sincerely express yourself are years ahead of your age group. Most men don't attain these skills until a woman tames them or their job is at stake- probably in their
mid or late twenties.Sometimes the "software" of a kid's mind, whether emotional or cognitive, is too much for the "hardware" of his undersized, still-developing brain to handle. As a little boy, your mechanical aptitude and capacity for abstraction may have taken up most of your brain's capacity. Then in your teens, your deepening emotions- fueled by hormones, the social isolation issue, your extraordinary capacity for self-reflection, and perhaps some stimulant withdrawal- likewise overwhelmed your neural capacity. It may indicate that your mind is more complex than most, your intellect sharper, your emotions deeper, and that you will need a fully developed brain to accomodate your thoughts and feelings.
I think the hypnotherapy has some merit- not with the goal of molding you into one of The Brady Bunch, but of harmonizing the logical part of your mind with the emotional. (Meditation, with a mechanism very similar to hypnosis, has helped me in this way.)
Meanwhile, I hope you are finding outlets for both sides of you. What are you into? (By the way, if you haven't tried playing music, it's a great balance of abstraction and feeling.)
I believe that pursuing your heartfelt interests will lead you to the companions you need. Considering your precociousness, most of these people might be considerably older than you. That's fine. You may well relate better to teenagers when you're older. I've found there's a lot more to learn from people who aren't my age.
Closing the door on the suicide option takes tremendous willpower. I know from experience.
And once again, congratulations on kicking the drugs. I am confident that these victories will give you strength to face the trials and temptations ahead. Good luck!
poster:MrSandman
thread:336405
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/337759.html