Posted by Pfinstegg on April 18, 2004, at 12:05:45
In reply to Re: the inconsistent therapist - paltiel, posted by deirdrehbrt on April 17, 2004, at 22:42:04
Even though my T is extremely experienced, steady and reliable, he does rarely make a "mistake". One time, I asked for a bit more support on something that was very painful, and he apparently felt criticized. I could feel him becoming a bit withdrawn, whereas he's usually so empathic and "there". I commented on that, and he agreed that I had hurt his feelings a little. We spent a LOT of time over this interaction, with him being very honest and owning up to his feelings, and me going through various stages of anxiety,self-condemnation, feelings that I had somehow *ruined* the therapy to eventual forgiveness, understanding and re-connection. Looking back, it's the tiniest thing, but while we were going through it, it seemed momentous. And I learned a lot-principally that part of his caring about me is that I can hurt him- and, because I care about him, he can hurt me, too. I think it is tiny incidents like this which help us learn, bit by bit, to really trust, even though things aren't (and can't be) perfect - they are real, though, and you always get another chance. And, nearly all of the time, the Ts' are *there* for us in ways in which no-one else can be
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:337151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/337410.html