Posted by Racer on April 9, 2004, at 20:52:00
In reply to Re: Any response? Anyone? Please?*si trigger* » Racer, posted by karen_kay on April 9, 2004, at 20:33:16
You hit on part of the problem there: the part about 'this doesn't apply to you, because you're thin...' I don't feel thin! I look at myself in the mirror, and I see a horrid beached whale with a huge belly and thunderous thighs and fat calves and droopy arms. Not to mention just generally being as fat as a house.
Now, I'm not stupid -- I am nuts, but I'm not stupid -- I can read the scale, and I can hear other people tell me I'm not fat. In fact, a few have expressed concern about my weight. The problem is, I can't see or feel it. To me, I'm a hugely fat slob of a monster. THAT's what I'm hoping to get over.
I think your method would be a good one, if I weren't in this whole "hideous monster" state. Right now, I have to be a little bit careful NOT to look in the mirror at all, because every time I do, it distresses me so much. Intellectually, I guess I know a lot about what brought this on in the first place, and even what brought this on most recently (withdrawal from the now former therapist -- that's pretty much a pattern for me, withdrawing and restricting my eating), but how to get past the terror of getting even fatter, how to learn to see myself more accurately, etc.
Thank you. I know it must be hard to remember that sort of thing. Thank you for your generousity in offering it to me.
poster:Racer
thread:333708
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/334696.html