Posted by karen_kay on April 7, 2004, at 12:47:01
In reply to Re: bubba makes me ANGRY!!!! » karen_kay, posted by terrics on April 7, 2004, at 10:22:17
first of all thank you all!!
i think what i'm going to is send him a thank you card. thank him for helping me so much in the past. and he really has helped me so very much, to which i honestly could never repay him.
but, i have learned his limits as well. and i'm not willing to try to test those limits, nor am i ready to accept those limits, as they just aren't healthy for me. and it's not my job to attempt to point it out. it would be nice to be able to help him help not only myself, but also other clients, but i'm too selfish to keep at it. so, at this point i'm giving up on bubba :(
i'll send him (what i hope to be) a very sincere thank you card. (and i hope he doesn't take it as me being manipulating, as i'm honestly not trying to do that) (and another thing, i think he's engrained in my head that i'm manipulating and that's why i think i am! i want to tell him that! but i won't) i'm just going to send him a card thanking him sincerely for all of his truly wonderful work (which is the honest to god's truth). thank him for being not only a wonderful therapist, but also a wonderful person as well. and just let him know that i don't think at this point group is my best option, that i don't feel it's working for me, not a reflection on him in any way. i'll wish him the best, though i know he doesn't need wishes, tell him that even though he's amazing, he'll be even more amazing in a few years. and also tell him that i really do value the time we had together, as it really has changed me as a person. i hope that he sees my card as being sincere. my only fear is that he won't.
i'll really miss bubba, but i think that the skills and strategies i've learned from him have honestly changed me. and i don't want to take a chance of back-sliding while in this group, you know? or getting an impression of him i don't want to have from seeing him in group. and he's beginning to show that. i'll start searching for a different therapist once i start feeling myself again, if i honestly feel i need one. perhaps at this point, i really don't. i've been reading some of my old posts and it's amazing how much i've changed in such a short amount of time. perhaps it's time for a break?
and joslynn, yes, we had a shceduled apt and he backed out right at the time of the apt. he's never done this in the past, so it's not something he does on a regular basis or anything like that. he let his emotions get the best of him and that happens. i understand that. i can forgive that. what hurts me the most is him saying "you seem better" when i specifically told him before starting group "are you goign to be able to see when i'm not myself?" and he promised he would. that;'s what hurts the most. when i saw him for the past year, i always wore makeup, even when i was so overmedicated i couldn't shower and thought my dog was going to kill me. it just seemed like he knew but didn't care, like he was specifically punishing me for pointing something out that he was unsure of. something that he knows bothers me to be dx with. and i left feeling overwhelmed anyway. and he just didn't care. but, i'd rather remember the good things he's done than the not so good choices he's made, i suppose. and i guess if he gets down on his hands and knees and begs me to take him back, i'll reconsider? fat chance that'll happen though.. too bad for bubba, there's a world of therapists that'll love to have me as a client anyway. (looking on the bright side, looking on the bright side)
poster:karen_kay
thread:333525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/333728.html