Posted by fallsfall on April 4, 2004, at 10:12:23
In reply to contemplating termination » Dinah, posted by crushedout on April 3, 2004, at 22:08:44
> it makes me feel relieved in a way, though, to contemplate it. like, there is a way out, maybe.
Crushed,
This is a really important statement. I was in agony with my old therapist, it felt so completely painful and hopeless that I was seriously suicidal for the first time in my life. I hadn't wanted to leave her "because I couldn't live without her". But given the pain I was in, and the fact that I wasn't sure I was going to live even if I stayed, I considered that leaving her might be an option. It couldn't get worse. As soon as I started contemplating changing therapists I started feeling better (I was still terrified) - I started having some hope, and I could delay the suicidal plan and see what might be ahead in the road for me.
This sounds a lot like your feeling of relief. So I would encourage you to keep considering leaving and talking to her about it.
The whole termination process with my therapist lasted probably 6 weeks or so (and I was very aggressive in interviewing potential therapists) - and the agony lasted probably another month after I changed. But then it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was definately the right move for me.
Listen to your "relief". Know that it will be VERY hard and painful. Follow your gut.
poster:fallsfall
thread:331844
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/332453.html