Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2004, at 18:53:15
In reply to Re: A little better » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on March 19, 2004, at 17:11:38
> I DO need him to be all knowing. I can accept that he might screw up royally sometimes, but his screwing up ISN'T OK (It isn't OK for me to screw up, either - other people may be able to screw up, but not me and not him).
>I'm sorry to hear that. Because if it were really true, you'd be doomed. Doomed to be angry and disappointed with him, and angry and disappointed with yourself. Because there isn't a soul in the universe who isn't capable of screwing up royally on a regular basis. Not him, not you, not Alan Greenspan, not Martha Stewart, not even me, believe it or not. lol. And he isn't all knowing. He can't even read your mind when you're sitting right there in front of him telegraphing your thoughts as hard as you can! Talk about being rotten at being omniscient!!! The nerve!
The good news is that you aren't really doomed of course. You're in therapy. And you can use that therapy to learn to accept royal screwups in yourself and in important others. You can even look forward to his substantial errors as a chance to learn to accept imperfections! If he's anything like my therapist, he'll give you *plenty* of opportunities to learn and grow in this area.
Wouldn't that be ironic? If your ultimate salvation from anger and pain and disappointment come not from the perfection you crave, but from his complete lack of perfection you grow to be able to accept.
poster:Dinah
thread:325785
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/326220.html