Posted by CarrotCake on February 16, 2004, at 7:05:11
In reply to Re: Is there an end to Transference and Feelings for T » CarrotCake, posted by Karen_kay on February 11, 2004, at 13:16:24
I agree with your point that I am only seeing the Therapist and not the person as a whole. But that shouldn't be a problem with the right relational context, should it?
Your way is to maintain a distance from bubba. Not to get too close to him? Do you find that your sessions are as productive?
When I first noticed my feelings I talked about them, but what I wanted was for my T to tell me how she felt. I had no context for the relationship, only questions.
I saw my T last week and mentioned my strong feelings for her, my lack of trust in her and the sessions as a whole. We worked through it and I feel great. She does not feel the same! She cares etc, etc, and I believe her. By her saying she does not have strong feelings for me is quite empowering. This, underpinned with what I see as our joint commitment to our sessions means that the relationship is stronger and set into a firmer context.
You can have friends, lovers or a T, and you would generally try not mix them up as things may get messy. Each relationship is different and I think the challange is to see the value of each and use the good bits of each. I get lots of value out of my T and I just need to keep a focus on that. My friends are great as well but within a different scope of my life. Together life has lots of flavours. I just need to appreciate and listen to all of them and not just T.
So now I am left with a T who knows how I feel and we can now work together on understanding those feelings. I now hope that the T relationship, and I, will be stronger as a result.
My question for you is what I said earlier.... are you getting out of Therapy what you want? Or is holding back from your T hindering the process?
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poster:CarrotCake
thread:310426
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/313974.html