Posted by DaisyM on February 14, 2004, at 17:04:11
I'm suppose to try to describe what it feels like, right now, to have consciously made the decision to "heal". Especially if there is inner turmoil about it. (IF???)
Ok, so my first flash is:
I was thrown into the deep end of the pool and though it was very scary, I have now (barely) learned how to swim. Suddenly there are children all around me in the water and I have to save them while staying afloat myself. I initially think I have to save them all alone. But after a few weeks of panic, I can now see help on the side of the pool - My Therapist is there and so are you guys from Babble. But I still have to get the children to the edge. So I'm struggling. and am still very scared. And sometimes I am so tired of treading water that I just think I can't do it. But then I hear one of you calling and I try again.
Don't ever under estimate the value of a cheering section. I'm glad to have found mine here.
Anyone else want to try this? It doesn't have to be directly "healing" -- it can be about deciding to get better, to terminate, to go back into therapy - I think it is writing about moving forward in conscious way.
poster:DaisyM
thread:313339
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/313339.html