Posted by Pandabear on February 2, 2004, at 19:10:23
Today in therapy, I finally came to the realization that I am at fault for a lot of the friendships that I have lost over the years. (and i have lost quite a few). My therapist asked me if i had heard about Vampire relationships. She said that a vampire relationship is a term sometimes used for a person who 'sucks a friendship dry". That is me all the way. Aparently there is a book published dealing with this and she showed it to me but i was horrified. I asked her to please not make me read it because I would have nightmares, and she said that she woudnt make me. But, I am the type of person that Latches onto someone and expects too much from them in the beginning and it tends to wear them out to the point that they are too exhausted to be my friend. The one person that made me start therapy was someone that I was totally obsessed with and he became my entire world. I was so attached to him that he finally just let me go completely and I fell really hard. I hate the person that I am, I feel so ashamed of myself and I am trying to expand my social circle of friends but it is really hard. I have lost so many friends because of the person that I am. I feel like a reject. I hate myself for it and I want to be someone that people will like. I even thought my therapist was feeling like I was obsessed with her bc she told me that I have to realize that there is more than just therapy and her in the world. I do depend on therapy but im not obsessed with her! When I feel this anxious about everything all I want is to go away and sleep or cry or something...but Im trying to stay positive. But, Im so disappointed in myself. I started out needing to get help to overcome how rude people had been to me and NOW im finding out that it was my fault to begin with. Its almost like im getting slapped in my face..and my therapist is saying to me ...see it is your fault and now you can fix it..*(but it isnt entirely my fault) IM so upset with myself. Someone please post something to make me feel better. Im so sad. ( I would say im depressed but my therapist says that there is a difference between being sad and depressed) which there is..but I really feel like im becoming depressed. Wouldnt you feel depressed if you thought you were right about something and then you found out that you were really wrong and that it is your fault? Please someone..give me some words of wisdom...it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED. Thanks. :(
poster:Pandabear
thread:308644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/308644.html