Posted by Lonely on January 30, 2004, at 1:19:19
In reply to Re: Therapist is in difficulty..... » Catmom, posted by DaisyM on January 24, 2004, at 18:21:26
I had a therapist who missed several appointments without any warning. I was very hurt and worried about her well being, especially the first time. A mutual friend explained to me that I felt "my stock was very low with her" and I should tell her that. She was annoyed at this; obviously she didn't want me getting input from anyone else. I was driving about 45-60 minutes each way for the appointments and felt silly sitting there waiting for a therapist who didn't show up. I railed back at her in phone messages. The tough part was that I also knew she had a very serious, even life-threatening illness although we talked very little about it. One writer here described it very well when she said that we hope the therapist comes after us if we leave ... it helps to feel we are important (my paraphrase). And, that's obviously what was going on w/me I see now. Ultimately we got into such a scrap through messages (her staff was absolutely incompetent) that she required I go to another therapist/consultant to see if the relationship could be salvaged. She later admitted that the consultant had told her some things she needed to be reminded of ... and I have a pretty good idea what they were. I guess for me it was caring deeply about her on the one hand and feeling that I was being trifled with on the other hand. The ultimate pain, came, though, when she died rather suddenly from the serious illnesses that we couldn't talk about very much. I wanted to comfort her but wasn't really allowed and didn't know how in the artifical restraints of a therapy situation. I'm glad to hear from others on your experience - it's tough being caught between wanting to be compassionate and yet having one's own needs that must be fulfilled.
poster:Lonely
thread:304999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307154.html