Posted by DaisyM on January 24, 2004, at 18:21:26
In reply to Therapist is in difficulty....., posted by Catmom on January 24, 2004, at 12:21:11
I have mixed feelings about your post. On the one hand, I would hate that my Therapist's personal life interfered with MY time. But, I've actually had to deal with that, he was sick once and there was a death in his family once. I couldn't help myself from being upset but once I looked at why, it was more about my own need to caretake everyone else.
On the other hand, like you said, Therapists are human and do have families, etc. She must respect you to have shared with you about her mom. She could have made up something, or said nothing.
I think the urge to stomp out might be that part of yourself that wants to confirm that YOU matter to her. Accompanying the urge to walk is usually the wish that they will come after us, or at least feel bad that we did indeed leave. We want their apology for not making and keeping us the center of attention. Add in you were talking about letting everyone take advantage of you, well, what a set up!! Of course you were hurt and angry. I don't think you were overreacting. I don't think she should have said that. I don't think you needed to apologize.
I struggle with the fact that the social norms of relationships don't apply in the therapy setting. It feels so one-sided, but, I'm told, it is suppose to. So I think you should only ask about her mom if you want to. She won't think bad of you if you don't. It isn't your job to take care of her or her feelings. As far as sharing your time with the possible phone calls, I think you should bring this out in the open: "I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I might be in the middle of something really private and painful and you will leave me to take a call." You can negotiate her needs with yours from there.
It's never easy, is it? Hope things get better soon.
poster:DaisyM
thread:304999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/305121.html