Posted by Lonely on January 29, 2004, at 23:34:05
In May of 2003 my therapist (LMSW) died rather suddenly from a disease. I had gone to her for 3 years and was absolutely crushed. I'm still grieving. I posted to this board and received some kindly support that I appreciated. I guess maybe it also helped to validate my grief.
Since then I've seen 3 different therapists and was told by the insurance I could only change 3 times a year. That left me with a therapist who was in the same group but a completely different person ... kind've blah, really. I've never developed an attachment to another therapist - maybe the old attachment was too strong, I don't know.
Today I became overwhelmingly frustrated when she tried to tell me that I should call up some old clients who are either dead or have moved on or who don't work at the same organizations. (I'm mostly self employed and business is slow.) She said she was very frustrated at my feeling of being helpless. I felt even more helpless - feel like I'm fighting the therapist who doesn't know a darned thing about my business and who should be more supportive. The original issues that caused me to seek help are overwhelming and in some ways have become even worse - seriously ill recovering alcoholic hubby, financial issues, career, and other complex matters. My deceased therapist also used to ride herd on the career issue and it never worked. I end up feeling more defeated, lowered self image, less feeling of "can do it." And then I really fought back - verbally - which put a strain on the relationship. I've tried to explain to both (when the first one was alive) about the best help I got in my life which was from a personal friend and colleague. That person has literally moved to the other side of the world and is no longer around to be my advocate. That's more what I need - and that seems to be totally outside the radar range of any lowly LMSW or psychologist. It would help if the therapist even acted glad to see me - my friend did, years ago, and I made enormous strides achieving levels personally and professionally I didn't know were possible. Are there any therapists out there who can get past their dual relationship anxiety and still have ethics and a different approach than 45 minutes of meaningless hot air?
poster:Lonely
thread:307126
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307126.html