Posted by Karen_kay on January 29, 2004, at 15:52:27
In reply to Re: I'll have a talk with Bean.. » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 29, 2004, at 15:28:03
I hoped that image might cheer you up a bit.
I agree that transference wasn't my therapist's forte either (Huh, you say.) but when I kept trying to cling to it, he kept saying, "Why do you keep bringing this up?" And after we discussed it enough and I felt comfortable somehow my feelings for him weren't nearly as intense.
While I admit still that my therapist is attractive, I wouldn't do anything with him at all. Nope! I still have naughty thoughts, but that's because my old man's a jerk. Besides, my therapist is better looking.I think (correct me if I'm wrong) the reason that you are hurt about the card is because you wanted to show you appreciation and he used it as a clinical "tool." Just something to add to your record, without even saying, "Thanks for the card, kiss my butt, ect." And that's understandable. Is this something that you have a problem with outside of this relationship, feeling taken for granted, or perhaps not being appreciated? If it is, I highly suggest you talk to him about your feelings.
As for the dependency issue...You think that he'll see you as too dependent if you bring this matter up? If he does, then he does. You can't control how he views you anyway. But a certain level of attachment with a therapist is ideal. It doesn't sound to me like you are dependent on him. I hardly think he'll get that idea.
We all want to be special to our therapist. I just happen to know I am (I'm crappy, aren't I :).... But, it honestly sounds to me like Bean holds firm to his rules and that's why he stuck the letter in your file. (Didn't you also say he never makes physical compliments or anything like that. He's The Enforcer. That should be his new nickname) Don't worry about making him uncomfortable. Crap, if I worried about making my therapist uncomfortable, I don't think I'd have anything to talk about :) Most of our hour is spent in discomfort, though he says I don't make him uncomfortable and he is a bad liar so I believe him.
Talk about it. I'm going to ask my therapist to be my mentor next week, as I'm lacking motivation. I'm sure he'll turn me down and suggest a professor. (What's the responsibility of a mentor anyway?) But, I haven't met a goodlooking professor yet. Guess we'll see how that turns out?
poster:Karen_kay
thread:306918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/306952.html