Posted by Poet on January 26, 2004, at 13:43:33
Hi,
I asked my therapist how I can get my husband to understand and accept that change in me is good for us. She acknowledged that yelling at him only makes him feel more threatened. Too bad because I'm good a yelling.
I'm supposed to be more aggressive but in a non-threatening way. When he says things like, you're getting manic again, I should say "I'm excited, not manic, I know how both feel and this is excitement."
I'm also to remind him that sometimes he says things that are meant to be supportive, but hurt. Example: I told him about something about my new job and he said "it's a wonderful thing." He says that all the time and thinks that I (and everybody else he says it to) understand that he means "great plan."
I told him that what he said and his tone of voice were unsupportive. He got mad, but caught on.
Give it a try, I know I am.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:305637
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/305637.html