Posted by Joslynn on January 14, 2004, at 20:29:58
In reply to Re: Ok Ladies, Listen UP!!!! » Joslynn, posted by Karen_kay on January 14, 2004, at 17:17:16
Karen, you asked me: "I see your concern with him telling me, but in his eyes, telling me was just reinforcing the fact that you don't need permission to think about sex with other people, JUST TO THINK ABOUT IT. That's what I'm thinking he was doing. Is that boundary crossing?"
Well, since you asked, I don't think it's a boundary crossing for him to say "you don't need permission to think about sex with other people" blah blah and talk about it in a general way.
I do, however, think it was a boundary crossing from him to tell you that he sometimes fantasizes about clients when he masturbates. (He did say that literally, right?) That's completely different than talking about fantasies theoretically.
My understanding was that therapists etc are not supposed to disclose very personal details about their lives, especially about their sex lives. Also, I don't think they are supposed to disclose fantasies or dreams about patients. I'm sure I have read this somewhere, but could not tell you where.
And also, I don't think that this means he would ever make a pass at you or anything that blatant. My concern isn't anything that obvious, but more that he has stepped out of a professional/healer role and in some way is enjoying the fantasies that both of you have...
I don't think it's wrong for him to masturbate about patients, but for him to tell a patient that...well that's weird, to me, it gets in a zone that worried me a bit. Personally, I would not want my shrink to talk about his masturbation fantasies at all, whether they involved me, Claudi Schiffer, or the Fed Ex guy!
But I am glad you are not upset with what I said. I do not have the sexual issues you talked about (though I have plenty of other issues!), so maybe his honesty is helping you in a way I cannot understand.
SIgned, Bessie (Neiggghhhh!)
(That was supposed to be a horse noise. I thought Bessie was a horse, not a cow.)
poster:Joslynn
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300891.html