Posted by Karen_kay on January 14, 2004, at 17:17:16
In reply to Re: Ok Ladies, Listen UP!!!!, posted by Joslynn on January 14, 2004, at 16:48:29
Oh girlie (is that ok??), you haven't offended me in the least...Please continue to post....
He never gave the impression that he fantasized about me. He only said that he has fantasized about clients. I wouldn't even suspect that he has fantasized about me, honestly. Possibly, maybe? I don't know.I truly understand your concern and I do watch for signs of certain boundary crossings. But I don't see this as one. I respect the fact that he answered my question because I have an aversion to sex. And this is his way of reinforcing the fact that it is ok to fantasize about whoever you chose.
And I fantasize abot sleeping with people that I would never actually sleep with, or even think about acting upon those urges, you know? I mean those fantasizes are your own to keep. I see your concern with him telling me, butin his eyes, telling me was just reinforcing the fact that you don't need permission to think about sex with other people, JUST TO THINK ABOUT IT. That's what I'm thinking he was doing. Is that boundary crossing?
And he has told me on several occassions that I'm beautiful, to boost my self esteem. And I know I'm a beautiful lady. So, to refer to me as beautiful wasn't reinforcing that he was "thinking" about m4e in particular. That was later in the conversation when I asked if personal feelings get in the way of therapy. Personal feelings as in frustration with clients. Times like this I wish I had a tape recorder to play back, you know?? :) So I could remember exactly what happened. But, I think what he was saying at that time was that he couldn't get distracted because someone looked nice on a particular day, not that he wanted to have sex with them.. It wasn't said at that point in the conversation. It was eons later and eons before that conversation.
I just appreciate his honesty and candor. I read a lot of posts where others can't be so frank and their therapists aren't either. I'm glad that I can be. I'm glad that I'm really beginning to trust him to be honest with me and that I can be honest with him. But don't worry, if I feel that he's openly friendly or too open with compliments, I'll let him know.
I just wonder if he's thinking about me tonight... And that's a joke of course :)
poster:Karen_kay
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300814.html