Posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 18:04:03
In reply to Re: (((((ELLE))))) MY SISTER!!!!!! » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on January 14, 2004, at 9:00:52
Hi Dinah,
Just want to say right off, thanks for the support.>At least I could yell at my therapist about it, but that doesn't sound like an option for you.
No, he's pretty firm and I think I know his personality well enough to say confidently, that if I started yelling at him, he would just ask me to leave. But, I have trouble with perceptions so...
Okay, and although SOME of the traits of that diagnosis fit me, I don't think the dx as a whole fits me. I guess I am highly paranoid (which probably comes across in my writing). But there aren't any schizophrenic people in my family. Mum and her sister both have serious social phobia issues, but no schizophrenia. I'm not as familiar with my dad's side of the family, but I know that none of his brothers or sisters have schizophrenia. And having schizophrenia is my BIGGEST fear. It truely terrifies me. I can't watch movies about it or anything. I'm in a abnormal psych class right now, and I am dreading studying it. Maybe I will find out in advance when those days are, and I will plan to be absent. I don't want to start crying in class, or worse yet, have a panic attack in front of everyone.
>They don't want or need companionship.Doesn't fit me. I crave companionship, just don't think I'm adequate to attain or maintain it. Plus, I'm too scared to have those kinds of relationships.
>They are indifferent to praise or criticism.
Definitely doesn't fit me. I crave praise. Now criticism, it does bother me, but has never gotten to me. I mean it hurts me, but I have this ability to completely dissociate from it and pretend like it was never said.
>Frankly that doesn't sound like you, from what I've seen on the board. You don't seem indifferent to criticism, and if anything you seem more than usually empathetic to others.
Thanks, I think he's wrong and I'm going to prove it.
>even if I am a bit eccentric.I don't think I'm eccentric really. But I do have some of what he termed "magical thinking." But, I don't think I'm delusional. Paranoid, definitely, delusional, no.
> I think I got the diagnosis because I dress in long T-shirt dresses with knee socks and tennies, frequently wear my hair in two braids or ponytails.
Okay, I know Karen doesn't think I'm too "up" on fashion (even though I am :) but, what is wrong with t-shirt dresses and knee socks? Sounds completely 100% normal to me. And your hair sounds really cute.
>said I worried about my parents when they were on a trip so that nothing bad would happen to them (which sounds sort of OCD to me)
Definitely OCD.
>and read more than I talk (often historical fiction) so that my language is sometimes arcane.
If anything, it has only made you more eloquent.
For myself, I think eccentric would cover me, possibly schizotypal traits. But if I were schizotypal it wouldn't be the end of the world.
No, and I don't mean to imply that it's the end of the world (even if I do turn out to embody the dx). I just think he's got the wrong diagnosis for me. I definitely have some of the traits, but not the dx.
> Borderline traits aren't awful, although it's probably better not to mention to potential mental health professionals.I think borderline traits are pretty bad sometimes. I think this is the proper diagnosis. It's what he first suggested. I match the criteria almost completely.
There is unreasonable prejudice out there. I walked into my therapist's office with "Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder" by Marsha Linehan and pointed out all the things that matched how I felt, and sometimes how I acted. It helps me understand myself better.
I think I'm going to do the same thing.
>I don't handle being pushed well either. And so what? I am far more easily led than pushed, and I see that as a character strength, not a weakness.
He gets frustrated with me because if I feel like I'm being pushed too far (like if he's trying to get at something I don't want to talk about) then I just shut up completely. Thats why he thinks therapy won't last. Well, if that is the case, then I would just like to know WHAT HE SUGGESTS I DO. Doesn't he want me to get better? Well????
Elle :)
poster:Elle2021
thread:296222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300830.html