Posted by CraigD on December 19, 2003, at 17:07:34
In reply to Re: EMDR experiences? » CraigD, posted by zenhussy on December 19, 2003, at 2:48:00
ZH-
Thanks for all the GREAT feedback. I had to start Celexa again just to make it through the holidays.
I didn't go to EMDR primarily for trauma -- it was more for terrible social anxiety and self-hatred. I uncovered memories last year of my uncle behaving inappropriate with me when I was in grades 4+5. I don't remember being raped per se, but my uncle was the only male figure in my life who showed any interest in me. My dad and step-dad didn't.
So there was mixed emotions of pleasure and shame in being with him, especially when the cops arrested him and questioned me in front of my mother.
But it is clear to my therapists I was exposed to something sexual earlier in life due to my hyper-sexual nature with relatives and friends starting at the age of 6 or 7, about the same time I began hating myself and believing I should be dead. Night terrors started in College, couldn't sleep in front of other people...lots of clear signs, but no memory.
my EMDR therapist is also treating as a trauma an unfortunate series of rejections/abadonments throughout my formative years.
We believe these things have left me afraid of people (mostly men...I am a gay 31 yo), unable to maintain close connections (walls go up after 6 months) and an extreme sensitivity to rejection.
EMDR is helping to relate these current feelings to their roots...I just need some remedial stuff soon.
Does this sound familiar to you?
poster:CraigD
thread:291016
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/291706.html