Posted by Elle2021 on November 24, 2003, at 21:37:17
In reply to Re: What was your childhood like?, posted by thewriteone on November 24, 2003, at 17:25:55
Well, thank you all for sharing. I appreciate all of your responses. I think I can share mine now.
My dad was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive. I still think I deserved the physcial part. When I was little my cousin tried to molest me (he was only about a year and a half older than me). I have blocked most of it out, but I remember him telling me I could only have a this pink crayon if I touched him. I don't remember if I did, I have completely blocked it out. I do remember that sometime after that my mum didn't let me play with him alone anymore. My pdoc asked me if I had anything like molestation happen to me, and I lied to him. Told him I had a great childhood (but at the same time I didn't want to discuss it with him). He knew I was lying.
I had a hellish childhood that I could go into detail about but won't. Suffice it to say that my dad has an horrid temper and I got the brunt of it, even in my teen years which were awful.
The few guys I have dated, I managed to ruin the relationship. I too have been asked by more than one doctor (including my gyno.) if I have been sexually abused. I don't think I have, but I act like it. Like Penny said (I think it was Penny) the idea of being with a man is appealing, but not in actuality. It's too scary. I can't share my intimate thoughts with anyone I can see face to face. I always think about meeting the guy who can take care of me. I wish he existed. This is the FIRST time I have ever breathed ANY of this to anyone. I can't believe I actually wrote it.
Elle
poster:Elle2021
thread:283075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031123/msgs/283424.html