Posted by Karen_kay on November 24, 2003, at 10:53:52
In reply to What was your childhood like?, posted by Elle2021 on November 24, 2003, at 0:43:32
Well, if you really want to know. It may help me to get some of this out. My mother, who I love dearly, had some problems. Rather than care for her children, she would lock us outside all day during the summertime without food and make us drink from the water hose. She beat us severly for not cleaning the dishes properly, and tried to commit suicide for my father's birthday, as his present. She also tried to kill me once when I wanted to color my hair. My father, who passed away when I was 19, and who I also love and admire, sexually abused me. At this point I don't remember many details. I remember 2 occassions and have had some flashbacks. My memory at this point is severly impaired, to the point that I can't remember what my father looked like, my birthdate is hard to remember, as is my age, and my sister has the same problem. But, since remembering the "occassions" with my father, my anxiety has almost dimenished! My older sister, who accussed my father of the same thing when I was younger (I have 3 sisters who lived there at the time) was forced to leave the same day she told my mother.
I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, bipolar disorder, OCPD, and possibly PTSD. Bipolar would have nothing to do with the situation, but Borderline, from my research has a lot to do with neglect on the part of the mother as well as childhood sexual abuse. PTSD is obviously from my childhood situation. OCPD, I would say, has a lot to do with my need to be in control, as I had none as a child. I mean, I didn't even have a bedroom door or a lock on the bathroom door. It seems unreal at this point to even think aobut it. I can't even wear shorts in the summer because I don't want people to look at my legs. I hate it when men look at my legs. I know it sounds strange from my previous posts, because of the way I flirt with my therapist, but I have control in that situation.
I'm glad you posted this. No, I'm glad I posted this. Thanks.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:283075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031123/msgs/283192.html