Posted by karen_kay on November 7, 2003, at 15:52:02
In reply to Re: Please help! (long reply), posted by DaisyM on November 7, 2003, at 13:16:33
Daisy, you are a sweetheart... what you said basically captured how I feel.. Everyone I talk to just says "I don't know what to say", and I answer :"neither do I"... I don't know what to say..
I hate my dad.. Two months ago, he was my best friend. I'm glad he is dead. I hate admitting it. I just feel like no one wants to know, I don't want to know. I feel like my therapist doesn't want to know, and if he does then it is sick and twisted.
Sex is the worst trigger for me, and showering. I've always been frightened of closing me eyes when I shower and now I ambeginning to understand why. During sex, unless I initiate, I'm always detatched, waiting for it to be done. I feel like I am obligated to do it. Like it is my job. I have to be a good girl and do what they wnat. I'm sorry if I'm boring people or disclosing too much but it feel sbetter to get this out to strangers who aren't looking at me and asking questions, or who seem too interested.
Daisy, thank you soo much! I guess I'm really afraid of being too needy towards my therapist. I called him thre times last week and he didn't even return my last phone call. He mentioned it when I spoke with him and said "I noticed you called me again." That was it. It's like he doesn't care or understand that I'm havign a rough time. II just had the expectation that we would be there when this went down, as he promised and he is not fullfilling that promise. And it hurts. It seems that everyone is letting me down right now. Agh! Sorry to be a downer, but I am running on no sleep right now!! Thanks agian Daisy, I really can't tell you how much it helps to know that people understand!!!! KAren
poster:karen_kay
thread:276859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277537.html