Posted by Poet on October 10, 2003, at 12:08:57
In reply to Histories, posted by HannahW on October 9, 2003, at 22:48:34
My therapist does not believe in labels, but if I were to label myself I have dysthymic depression (low level depression that hangs on for long periods,) social anxiety and a history of bulimia.
I was a painfully shy girl whose parents were so busy fighting that they ignored my older brother verbally tormenting me. Not to mention chasing after me with knives or trying to run me over with his car. If I were to label my brother I would say borderline psychotic.
My depression started when I was in my late teens.
I felt less depressed when I ate comfort food. By age 20 I was stuffing myself and gaining weight. I started out by exercising and fasting, before I started purging. Keep in mind this was before those made for TV movies about eating disorders. Karen Carpenter was still alive...By the time I was 30, I managed to get my bulimia under control (I am a control freak). I still binge and purge but it's usually triggered by something emotionally painful, like being rejected for a job. If I don't binge, I self medicate with wine.
I have been turned down for 20 jobs in the last year. I have been stuck in a brainless job for four years. I want to be liked, I want to feel loved and needed. I know that I need to find this self worth and love within myself and it won't come from a job. This is why I am in therapy.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:267590
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/267814.html