Posted by Adia on September 24, 2003, at 10:29:15
In reply to cutting, posted by underthecs on September 24, 2003, at 0:35:24
Hi,
I started cutting before I started therapy, and after some time I decided to tell my therapist...I didn't exactly tell her, I wrote to her...It is very hard, and now I find it really hard to tell her if I have the urge to self-injure...When I told her, I felt understood by her, and we made an agreement, that I would tell her and reach out before doing that..but sometimes that doesn't work because I can't always reach her.
Since telling her, I felt relieved...cause my secret was out in the open and i didn't have to hide and fear her judgement..I too feel scared of what she might think or if she won't like me anymore if I show her the ugly things..but she seemed to view it as part of the problem..and how hard I find it to express feelings and I keep it all inside and I don't communicate my feelings and then it all explodes and cutting helps me ...when the emotional pain gets all out of control...I am not used to sharing feelings or crying... :o( She said that is what I have to learn with her...
Since I somehow feel she cares about whether I cut or not I have been able not to give in so much and now I don't s.i as often as I used to do in the past...It was really important for me to know I was not alone and she cared..and she didn't judge me.
Now I have to admit I don't tell her (lately) if I have the urge...I tried to bring up the topic the other day mentioning a film I watched called "secret shame"..about self-injury..
That could be a way for you to talk about it?
I wrote to her sharing about the film, how the girl cannot find other ways to communicate or deal with her feelings and she hurts herself...and that helped me to at least hint that I'm thinking of that...
Maybe you can watch that movie if you haven't already..and tell her your feelings about the movie..and that may make it easier to tell her..?
As fallsfall has shared I too believe that they can't help us if we don't tell them what's happening inside....I am sending you lots of strength and courage so you can find the way to talk to your therapist about it...go slowly...or maybe you can discuss that you feel humiliated about something you would like to tell her...
Take care and let us know how it goes,
stay safe,
Adia.> hi. is it normal to cut and not tell your therapist? it's just too humiliating. am i the only one who thinks this?
poster:Adia
thread:262850
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/262930.html