Posted by habbyshabit on September 6, 2003, at 4:59:21
In reply to Re: dealing with delusional disordered Judy 1 , posted by judy1 on September 5, 2003, at 12:15:31
Thanks Judy, I must be a strong woman, because life throws me the most amazing curves and somehow I maintain a positive, loving, caring attitude. What's the saying? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
I too have had delusions. Prior to 1998 they usually quickly preceded and included psychosis. In 1998, I had my one and only floridly manic episode that didn't go psychotic, but I was delusional. I was sure I was going to build a Monastic type facility where channels of all sorts could come and do their work. I had all the details of the buildings and sanctuary filled out in my mind. It would be called Esterbrook Abbey and it would be so sacred a place that Arlon, the group energy I channel, would actually manifest themselves for periods of time.
I drew up a flyer that announced the grand opening would be in 2002 (this was 1998 remember) and sent it out to everyone I knew. Of course, I would be the abbess of this cloister!
Needless to say it was embarrassing when the mania ended and I realized I had announce to friends new and old, that I just had an episode.
The difference between the delusions I have had and my husband's is that even if his delusion ends ( which they have in the past. I know from talking to his daughter and sister ), he remembers them as real and the story remains part of personal history. He never really does wake up from his delusions like we do, they just recede into the past.
Like he still believes all the stuff about the supposed affair I had - and all the hallucinations he had at that time - he just chooses to put it behind us and let go of needing me to admit to it, which I would never, ever do - I shudder to think of the consequences of that. I just pray this delusion fades into history at some point.
He's been saying for two weeks now "they" are almost done. That the sound in his ears is softer, quieter which means they are getting their equipment fixed and when the sound is gone, so will they be. I can only hope this suffering he is in will end soon.
All of what he goes through makes me wonder what in his psyche believes he deserves such punishment and to be betrayed by a woman he loves so deeply. I could get real analytical about it, but it would be a black hole that would suck up all my mental energy so I let it go....
It's cool you have a husband who knows how to treat you respectfully and gently in the midst of delusion. I used to trust my husband's assessments of my mental condition - but since all this began - It is a lot harder to judge whether he is right on or not. I guess I'm back to relying on my own judgement - which we know is not always the best source of objective observation.
Happy Trails,
Hab
poster:habbyshabit
thread:255324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/257523.html