Posted by ShelliR on March 27, 2003, at 12:16:30
In reply to Re: Who runs this life? Me or therapist? » ShelliR, posted by Tabitha on March 27, 2003, at 1:36:48
<I am curious about the ultimatum from yours that <<led to your terminating with your last one, if you <want to share about it.
It's really hard for me to talk about it without being defensive.My AD (nardil) stopped working for me after almost twenty years. I tried almost every drug and combination my pdoc and I could come up with and I was still in a horrible depression, unable to work, etc.
I was prescribed opiates by a psychiatrist for depression and pain and inflammation in my chest. My therapist was not happy but said as long as I followed exactly what he prescribed she would still work with me. When I terminated the relationship with him and continued to take opiates prescribed by a pain doctor, she said that I refused to accept that I was an addict and the only way she would work with me was if I went into a drug treatment program.
She's totally freaked out about addiction in general--was really upset when my pdoc gave me benzos for anxiety, etc. I didn't fit the profile of an addict at all, never craved them, didn't get high, etc. I wasn't willing to give up opiates (methadone) until I found something that would help me. It seemed stupid to go into a hospital for addiction when I didn't believe I was an addict and I also didn't think I'd get the best care for treatment resistent depression, inpatient, on a drug unit.
So anyway, I wrote her a five page letter asking her to continue working with me. I even thought of going into the hospital just so I could continue to work with her, but I knew I really couldn't. (I ended up in the hospital anyway, and did get off of methadone, but it wasn't a drug program.)
She was the best therapist I'd ever had, but she was always very very opinioned. We'd had other major disagreements but this was the first ultimatum. And here I was in the worst depression of my life and she totally abandons me. It was awful. I had really bad dreams about her for months after the termination. I ended up going back to a previous therapist for a limited time just to get some perspective and confirm that I wasn't an addict (or an awful, horrible person).
Shelli
poster:ShelliR
thread:210618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/213450.html