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Re: Done with therapy » Miller

Posted by Dinah on January 6, 2003, at 16:31:27

In reply to Done with therapy, posted by Miller on January 6, 2003, at 9:11:44

OK, Miller. What happened? (If you want to share.) I know those sentiments. I've felt them many times. I quit therapy probably at least a half dozen times. I had a couple of different reasons. One, that I was afraid of trusting. And two, that he did something to awaken my never far from the surface abandonment fears. This sounds like the second to me.

He mentioned money? He made it clear that there were limits to how much time he was willing to put in during this period? You misunderstood the arrangements? All of those things hurt. It hurts to realize that he has a life, and you are only a small part of it while he looms large in yours. My therapist didn't even like me (regular old human being "like") for years. All of those things hurt like hell. It took a long time to come to understand and accept the limits of the therapeutic relationship. You're more than a car payment, really you are. I am to my therapist. But I'm also not a friend, and I'm not family. He wouldn't see me if I didn't pay. But within the limits of the therapeutic relationship he does care. Even when he didn't like me, he cared.

It sounds like he's hurt you, and you want to run. I can't tell you not to (especially since I ran five or six times). But now may not be the best time to do that. Why don't you tell us what happened today?

(And yes, we all are ultimately alone. Our therapists can't save us or keep us alive. This board can't. Our family can't. Only we can do that. And it sucks.)

Dinah

(And feel free to tell me I'm projecting and I'm completely off base. :) )

 

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poster:Dinah thread:2126
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021230/msgs/2140.html