Posted by terra miller on July 27, 2002, at 13:53:34
In reply to Re: Are you able to communicate internally? » judy1, posted by Dinah on July 27, 2002, at 12:21:38
hi girls. :-)
i think there's lots of lingo that means just about the same thing. some therapists talk in terms of ego states or parts of self. some use the word alter (which is just short for the term alternate personality, which is just the same as an alternate ego state.... blablabla) :-)
i don't use the word alter much at all. i think that's because i'm not aware of having alters, (so how the heck would i know if it's appropriate then? silly dissociative circle!)......
anyway..... most of the time i don't believe it anyway. i know that i have a mess of noise in my head, which i can accept.. but it's a lot harder to accept that i relate to my therapist one way and a different way on another occasion (even though i know full well that i've been doing it for years now). he said to me the other day how you just never know, that some sessions i can be so open that i can tell him anything and another session i am so seized up almost catatonic and can't talk about anything, or i may have a bad case of "bloody bad mouth language."
i just try to ignore the whole thing! :-)
but the point of therapy is to face it and let it out, so you and your therapist (to dinah) should not be afraid. think of it in terms of a golden opportunity to figure something out. of course, in the beginning you've got to get past the "what's happening to me/make this stop/i don't trust you/get me out of here/i can't move" feelings. but if you get a good therapeutic relationship going, it's so much easier to let the dissociation happen because you trust yourself in your therapist's hands to not leave you there in that state nor to do anything to harm you while you feel vulnerable. you can get some good work done when you get to that spot. until then it can feel really awful because you're not trusting because maybe your therapist did something to set you off and they have no idea, and you are spinning wondering about all this distrust stuff... and if you don't trust, then how the heck are you supposed to tell them what is going on with you... and you just fall further into the fog. at some point you've got to reach out and hold onto the rope (this is hard), and your therapist has to be there to hand it to you. and your therapist has the responsibility to earn the trust of ALL of you which is an ongoing process.
terra, running at the mouth
poster:terra miller
thread:730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020702/msgs/755.html